I am finding such insightful things lately that I want to post here. I didn't write this myself, but sure wish I had. It was a Wow moment. I have several Wows a week recently. Revelation and self-awareness is making me yawn alot. It's all the beating-into-submission I have to do with my hopes, desires, and expectations. Re-routing a detour around my usual emotional highway is taking a toll (pardon the pun. highway? toll? ha. I am tired)
Anger is always caused by selfishness (which is one of the biggest destroyers of real love)- and expectations often lead to anger.
I just read a book called "Real Love" by Greg Baer- maybe it's just because it fell in my hands at exactly the right time in my present journey through grief and darkness- but this is one of the most powerful books I have ever read. I also just ordered the follow-up, which is specifically about marriage. One thing the author believes is that anger (including freak-outs) is/are always "wrong".
One can argue about that, but he makes a pretty strong case that such behavior always springs from selfishness and is not only not treating someone with "real love"- it effectively/tragically precludes real love. I know that such behaviors from myself- however infrequent and mild they were- were exactly what caused my beloved to leave and stay gone.
None of us can ever be perfect- but I think most of us can do a lot better than we do. I think I've come so far and then find myself screwing up- getting pissed off at ridiculous things. I do think "die to self" is the key to love. And that paradoxically, being as unselfish and giving and loving as possible, will bring us the greatest joy of all: real love.Labels: other people's words |
