Yet another draft half-finished from January 5, 2008. God, I am so glad this isn't going to be the rest of my life. Period.
Happy New Year.
yeah, really? well, no. not so much at this time. but there's always tomorrow, right?
like maybe ... maybe my husband will come to bed and face me, give me a foot, or dare we hope? a hug of some sort.
i cleaned the basement a week ago while he was out of town, it was a surprise. I worked on it for about 12 hours during the onset of a nasty headcold. I was quite pleased with the outcome, and fantasized that i would get a passionate kiss in response. (he does appreciate a clean and re-organized room, but apparently would not go so far as to kiss me over it.)
perhaps he will look up with a smile - or look up. at. all. - when I come into a room? um, no. thanks for playing
will he put an arm around me while we're on the sofa? well, no. he would have to be Plastic Man to reach that far. and yet he snuggles up on the sofa with our children daily. seeks them out to kiss them hello or goodbye, walking past me to do it.
2007 came and went without a real kiss, a sexual/sensual act of any sort, or even the touch of any private parts of female/male anatomy. and i thought 2006 was bad? I'm such an optimistic idiot, and it's slowly dawning on me how and why that is. Actually just the how; no clue on the why. This marriage has been difficult from the get-go, mostly. The bestest and yummiest part of our relationship was long, long ago. So much between Then and Now makes me cringe to think of it. Fault on both sides, yadda yadda.Labels: Angst I HATE to re-read, past tense |
