Thanks much for the thoughtful comments on the Ugly post. They were, as always, insightful and comforting. Not that I'm here for a big pity party, contrary to all appearances.
I even googled Abuser Treatment Programs which was suggested by a commenter, but that seems way out of my realm (thankfully); mostly drug-induced domestic violence and women in shelters. I filed that in the Things Could Be Worse category.
I know I live in America and it's our status quo to be run exhausted, but there's got to be a place and time when this lets up. At least I keep hoping. It's been well over a year now. Long term stress and excretion of stress hormones cannot be good for us physically, let alone emotionally.
Financially, we are drowning. blah, blah. Same story, different day. And stuff that needs money for repair just keeps on happening. I know this is no headline news, but it is crazymaking.
I just burst into tears last night over my printer failing, because there's no way to repair it or replace it, and I had been making some part-time money with a little business that NEEDS A PRINTER. So I have to refund money that I'd already spent to a customer who had paid me nicely for a job I only halfway completed. [insert shotgun blast]
I just had to go straight to bed, because I was far beyond thinking clearly. The Husband was supportive and tried to be helpful, but there are no solutions to this problem and I could not function.
The kids have had field trips this week, and I have to bum rides with moms I don't know since I don't have a car anymore. Hello, surface talk for hours on end. Kill me now. I endured it yesterday & leave for another round in a few hours.
Love my kids. Love being able to spend precious time with them at farms and museums. Dread having to ask The Beautiful People for a space in their SUVs and then converse As If all the way down, and all the way back. Surely this in no small way contributed to the meltdown-over-printer-death last night.
Oh, and the air conditioning quit in the house. Years we have had this system, and hello? you want to quit now? So we're stressed and hot. Fcuking perfect.
So, I'm running on empty. I manage to scrape enough coins to put a buck or two in the tank every few days, but my Low Fuel light is always on. I just want to get a full tank again. Space to exhale.
