So, I miss my blog's original header photo like NOBODY'S BUSINESS, but I have spent countless hours searching the interwebs for it, for a few years now actually. To no avail. That dude packed up his website, blogger templates and photos, and hit the road. Totally off the grid. Not even cached sites will get me a good copy of it to use.
Even people who used his stuff have blank headers like I did - theirs disappeared too. Sadness. That photo perfectly depicted me and my inner life. But alas.
I found this one. It will do for now.
MOVING ON. (Lord knows I have expended enought energy and headspace trying to find that f*ing photo of that girl in headphones, good lord. Any readers who have been with me since the beginning and fall across that image in this lifetime, do let me know)
More sweet little quotes from The Vault that needed a place. And a gingerbread house from two years ago...
Fear less, hope more, eat less, chew more, whine less, breathe more, talk less, say more, love more, and all good things will be yours. -Swedish Proverb
Every Christian family ought to be a little church, consecrated to Christ, and wholly influenced and governed by His rule. -Jonathan Edwards
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. -Theodore Hesburgh
His mom leaned on him for emotional support. So, to this guy, "love" felt heavy and burdensome. He couldn't help it. Love was a weight to be carried, a responsibiity to be endured. Getting closer to his girlfriend didn't make him feel playful, spontaneous, and erotic... it made him feel like he was entering a maximum security prison. -Esther Perel, author, Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic
“Do you not know that there comes a midnight hour when every one has to throw off his mask? Do you believe that life will always let itself be mocked? Do you think you can slip away a little before midnight in order to avoid this? Or are you not terrified by it? I have seen men in real life who so long deceived others that at last their true nature could not reveal itself;... In every man there is something which to a certain degree prevents him from becoming perfectly transparent to himself; and this may be the case in so high a degree, he may be so inexplicably woven into relationships of life which extend far beyond himself that he almost cannot reveal himself. But he who cannot reveal himself cannot love, and he who cannot love is the most unhappy man of all.” -Soren Kierkegaard, fcuking brilliant man
If only we could brand this on our souls when it really counted: What we do is more important than what is done to us. -Nikki Giovanni, a Virginia Tech English professor
there were times when i was crying from the dark of daniel's den, and i have asked you, once or twice, if you would part the sea again. but tonight i do not need a fiery pillar in the sky, just wanna know you're gonna hold me if i start to cry. oh, great god, be small enough to hear me now
oh, great god, be close enough to feel you now
there have been moments when i could not face goliath on my own, and how could i forget we've marched around our share of jerichos. but i will not be setting out a fleece for you tonight, just wanna know that everything will be alright.
oh great god, be close enough to feel you now
all praise and all honor be to the god of ancient mysteries, whose every sign and wonder turn the pages of our history. but tonight my heart is heavy and i cannot keep from whispering this prayer: "are you there?"
and i know you could leave writing on the wall that's just for me, or send wisdom while i'm sleeping like in soloman's sweet dreams. but i don't need the strength of samson or a chariot in the end, just want to know that you still know how many hairs are on my head
oh, great god, (are you small enough?) be small enough to hear me now
'You know how when you're a little girl and your mom reads you fairy tales before bedtime, and you fall soundly asleep after the story, dreaming of being in the fairy tale? I'm off to tuck myself in and dream of castles and crowns...and someone loving me that much, like in the story.'
If words could fall like raindrops From these lips of mine And if I had a thousand years I'd still run out of time To express my love for you I cannot even start All the words now fail me You have to read my heart. -Jeff Thoren
These photos were taken (many hours after the snow melted yesterday) by my husband, who is also amazed the children and I got out of this car on our own.
My small children are the bravest kids on any block, I am so proud to know them.
We slid off the side of a mountain, rolled over, slammed against a tree, looked at each other and calmly climbed out of the broken window, up the mountain, and down the road until flagging a car. They were amazing.
God hit a big RESET button in my heart for what is truly important. Miracles happen every day.
God wants you to persevere even while you do not see what you are believing Him for.
...those who participate in this life with an attitude of Thanksgiving, will receive its full promise. -John Mcquiston II
This wise woman has said exactly, exactly, exactly what I think here. OMGosh, ya'll, I could put this on billboards across the nation, I feel so strongly about it: I don't know about you but I am pretty sure that I wouldn't have learned as much, as fast, if this hadn't happened to shake up my life. I realized at one point during this that my husband is the only person on this earth that could hurt me deeply enough to start me on this path of discovery.
I’ve found a way to make you I’ve found a way A way to make you smile
I read bad poetry Into your machine I save your messages, Just to hear your voice You always listen carefully To awkwards rhymes You always say your name, Like I woulden’t know it’s you At your most beautiful
I’ve found a way to make you I’ve found a way A way to make you smile
At my most beautiful I count your eyelashes secretly With every one, whisper I love you I let you sleep I know you’re closed-eye watching me, Listening I thought I saw a smile
I’ve found a way to make you I’ve found a way A way to make you smile
The following is a mish-mash of words I've read from all over the place that have spoken to me about myself, my husband, marriage, and all the usual suspects. Mat 16:24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Those who want to come with me must say no to the things they want, pick up their crosses, and follow me.
Jesus carried his own cross. We had nothing to do with that. Like Jesus, we have to carry our own cross, whatever that cross may be. It's only through experimentation that you will discover what God wants you to do. You can't learn anything about the grace of God without being in a community (i.e. alone). If you are alone, you can't learn to bear the burdens of others, love others, forgive others and learn from others. -from the blog I Will Not Eat The Darkness
*Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past
*You hurt him then. Today he hurts himself with this knowledge. He makes himself miserable with the facts of the past. You are not hurting him still, he is using your past actions to hurt himself in the present. Things like this should not be held over another's head. Either he gets over it or he doesn't - it's his problem to deal with, and if he wants to make you a part of the solution, he can ask, but you can not solve this problem for him. In time he will have to accept his part in the mess and forgive you for yours.
*There is enormous love in forgiveness - and forgiving is something that needs to happen on a regular basis.
*I began to see how I loved the self-pity, holding the moral high ground and the self-righteousness I had in our marriage crisis. It really struck me and I confessed it to God.
*God answers prayer. It seems he delights in answering the prayers of people who are seeking to humble themselves and become more Christlike.
*The situation won't change until someone in the situation changes.
When you reach the end of your rope, you will find the hem of His garment. -Unknown
I took this photo today, and I just love it
[Summer of 2011 Deletion/Republishing Note: no photos saved in the archive. I know this was a gorgeous sunrise from one of my nightshifts - will hopefully re-find it someday]
